Sex. A topic that never fails to capture attention and arouse curiosity.
We discussed sex. Not so much on the how-to, but rather our individual perspectives. Some insisted that it was physical, some compartmentalise, and others said they could not divorce sex from emotions. I appreciated that we were honest and open in sharing, as well as non-judgmental.
We practiced safe sex. Not the act of it, but the how-to. We cut up gloves and used condoms. I wonder how many of us would put knowledge into practice, considering the awkwardness of it. The session was interjected with lots of jokes, but undoubtedly, the message was clear. It may "spoil the moment", but it will benefit you in the long run. At least now even if I don't do it safe, I know I have absolutely no excuse for claiming that I did not know how.
This was my first time attending Women's Nite – talk about being "deflowered" especially when the topic is 'Let's Talk about Sex!'
I didn't really know what to expect, but I thought that perhaps we might have to talk about individual experiences on sex and safe sex practices. Luckily we didn't need to, at least not in a manner where we proclaim it to the whole group. We did discuss some questions in small groups – questions like "Is sex the same as intimacy?" and "When do you think is the right time to have sex?".
I think it may have been more fun if the entire group was not split into smaller groups. This way we will all get to hear a more diverse range of answers. Some people may not get to speak, perhaps because they are too shy or maybe they have nothing much to add, but I think it will be more interesting. Nevertheless, the discussions were definitely cool. I got to discover different people's attitudes towards sex.
The last part was really funny! Condoms are really icky! We had to learn how to put them on pseudo-sex toys, a.k.a. cucumbers/bananas/carrots. We also learnt how to improvise dental dams from condoms and latex gloves. This was really informative since not everyone (me included) knows about such issues. If only this could reach a wider audience, both straight and gay.
Lastly, it's wonderful that Women's Nite bars alcohol. It's mentally exhausting that many queer events have alcohol. The absence of alcohol keeps away any "poseur/wannabe" connotations.
by Swee Jean
I love it when they bring out the vegetables at Women's Nite. I don't mean when they're served for dinner — I mean when the veggies are dildos for our hands-on how-to session with condoms and lube!
So out came the cucumbers, carrots and bananas. (It works better if you chill the bananas in the freezer first, or so I hear!) Sadly, we could only take one veggie each.
We practiced putting condoms on our veggie-dildos. When we were confident of our abilities, we moved on to another skill — making a dental dam. Dental dams are like protective sheets placed over the vulva/anus to prevent the exchange of bodily fluids (ie. vaginal secretion, saliva, etc) during oral sex.
With a few snips, our condoms and gloves turned into useful protective barriers. We also found out that, with some creative cutting, you can even customize your dental dam with thumb- and tongue-holds. Sweet!