This was my third time attending the event. Deeksha enlightened us on certain issues, for example, on the fact that woman-on-woman rape is not acknowledged under current laws; that is only seen as "sexual misconduct". We spent a lot of time talking about the different kinds of abuse, including emotional abuse. We talked about how co-dependency is a problem in abusive relationships. We talked about how the more butch-looking woman is seen as the guilty party when there is a dispute on who was the abuser in a relationship, and how this can be unfair.
I learnt that while there are many laws protecting married couples, there are few for unmarried couples, and even fewer for gay couples. Luckily, there is a group of professionals who are gay-friendly and willing to help us. Do ask. Help is around. I thank them for their efforts.
Deeksha mention that we could join AWARE. There may be homophobic people in there, but why not make our views heard so that they can understand us? I guess for me it is very simple: I hope they can learn to understand us.
by Ying Ying
There are always new things to learn at every Women's Nite. Last Saturday was my third time there. I had not been in an abusive relationship, so I could only follow the discussions as much as I could internalise. There was lots of information shared by Deeksha, which I was thankful for. She mentioned that highly educated as well as respected individuals in society can turn out to be abusers, and that doctors can sometimes be the worst abusers. The bottom line is that we have to take responsibility for our behaviour and not abuse our partners on the pretext of love or concern.
I also came to know about Section 377 of the Singapore Penal Code and the severity of its penalties. I wasn't aware before that we can be fined and/or jailed for engaging in consensual homosexual sex. Not that I'm going to stage a hunger strike over this. But it's got me interested in reading up on gay-affirmative laws.