Women's Nite (women_snite) wrote,
Women's Nite
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JANUARY 2009 REFLECTIONS: The One





by Van

Women's Nite had been an activity I had been looking forward since the day I came across the link when constantly surfing the internet to try to learn a lot about lesbians.

The December film showing was the first time I joined. The films were very nice, and it was a good venue for me to check out the group of people I'm dealing with. I'm not out and I'm very cautious of people I meet and places I go. But it was so amazing to be in a place where you do not worry about a single bit of being who you are.

The topic was finding The One, and there were questions and discussions in the group. It was a nice venue to express myself and be able to hear what others - "the more experienced ones" - have gone through and try to learn. It was so amazing. I didn't really consider finding a person for you in a bookstore was possible. Well that would be another session perhaps, with the topic: Things to do in the bookstore?

Lesbian relationships are as complicated as any relationship, but being for the first time among a group of amazing women who open up and discuss the things that are happening to them made Women's Nite a venue for me to share and get more help to make relationships work and most importantly to accept myself. I learnt that each individual lesbian has a different perspective on how a relationship should be, and the methods they use to try and find a lifelong partner, like the internet, pubs and parties, work, church, sports, other activities and of course the bookstore. What comes after that depends on how that person you meet is like, how you want to grow or how far you want to go with her.

In the short chat after the session, I got to meet some of the participants and gained my bookstore buddy as well, what about that! Most importantly you learn how important a support group should be there for you to help you with the many questions you have about being who you are, and not feel alone and eventually think that you are an unwanted being because you think differently with the others.

The most I can also share, is that, its always been a struggle to be out, but as I listened to the discussion, I realised that being out is an essential thing to do, for you to find the one, because you cannot find someone if you can not even find yourself.

Thank you so much Women's Nite, for the warm welcome, the great food and most importantly the company you share and the support you provide is really amazing.

***

by Yan

I came to know about Women's Nite a while back but had been procrastinating about signing up all these while. After all, going to a strange place to meet a whole bunch of strangers does add quite a bit of worry and concern.

But I told myself: hey, it's a brand new year and I've got to try it at least once. If not now, when? So there I was, carrying the packs of fried rice and beehoon and my apprehension, walking into the first session of Women's Nite for 2009 and for me.

When I walked into the room, there were already a number of attendees who were chatting casually. Hmm... they looked like they all knew each other! (I learnt later that most of us came alone). Anyway, it only took a short while and I started feeling at ease, especially with the friendly facilitators/volunteers who are there to make everyone feel comfortable. Before long, we were eating, chatting and getting into the night's topic - where to meet "The One", what preparation work to do, what issues to consider. From suggestions of having a checklist of items and qualities, categorising them into "must-haves" and "good-to-haves", to needing to know what we want in our potential partner, there were candid contributions and endless bursts of laughter. The group had varied characters, some were ever ready to share while some were just happy to be quiet observers and listeners; there were "old birds" and greenhorns. Outspoken or quiet, veterans or first-timers - it didn't really matter. We enjoyed each others' company and had a fruitful evening.

While I do not want to go into too much details of the topic of the night (it changes every month), what I do want is to encourage anyone who have been thinking about attending Women's Nite, but may have reservations about attending alone or having concern about whether you can fit in, to cast her fear aside. The event is alcohol free, and really provides a conducive environment to meet people and discuss topics or issues relating to women or lesbians. Even if the topic is not something of immediate interest, it allows one to listen to others' perspectives and in that way opens up one's mind and heart. Just come in your comfortable clothes and bring an open mind. It is definitely a worthwhile visit and fruitful way to spend a couple of hours of your Saturday night.

On a closing note, I've learnt that some of the facilitators have been volunteering their service faithfully and consistently for many years since inception to run this event. I thank them for a job well-done and their dedication. They definitely deserve our support.

See you at the next session.
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