"Clubs and bars are too wild and loud, the crowd is too young, the online world is too dubious and I NEED some face-to-face interaction with lesbians soon or I'll die in my tiny lesbian closet!"
If that statement resonates with you, then fret not, for my partner and I found the solution in Women's Nite. This was our second foray into the event since a year ago as our first meeting was so positive we felt we had to "give way" and allow others to benefit because each gathering is limited to 30 persons. We were both excited and exhilarated to be engaging in meaningful banter with our kind again.
The crowd was just as eclectic as the potluck dishes which everyone brought along for the Nite – I tasted the international 'comfort dishes' like one stable and older couple from a Western country who commanded respect with their wise perspectives, as well as the flirty 'tanned' Indian and sexy Filipino who made great eye candy and entertained the rest with their zaniness. And how can I forget the many favourite local "dishes" that I only managed to savour slightly during the two rotating group discussions: the "Trooper", the "Fashionista" and "Kung Fu exponent". Of course, not forgetting my very own "Librarian" who provided so much laughter to us (at her expense). Thanks to the opening game by the "chef Maestros" of Women's Nite, it somehow ended as a Nite of funny labels.
On to the REAL substance of the Nite's sharing: I relish important things like the fact that roles in lesbian relationships are more fluid than heterosexual ones as it defies conventional labels. We should acknowledge who the stronger person is in a situation and let her lead, and realise that there is no shame in giving in during an ego stand-off. Labels do not quite stand in a lesbian relationship. Even butches need to feel like a woman too and there is no need to "give up seats to the femmes" all the time. What results is a unique kind of women's teamwork, but with more oomph and ooo-la-lah!
Me? I hoped I've added my own spicy flavour to the very entertaining and educational event. My apologies if it was too much or if it ended up in the wrong pot! Each Women's Nite is very much like a special cooking lesson. But you can bet on gaining a little more insight according to its dish (aka topic). I'm not ashamed to say I look forward to hoarding places at future gatherings, so you'd better reserve your place early to avoid disappointment!
Before arriving at the Singapore venue of Women's Nite, I wondered what type of women I would find. It was appropriate that the discussion theme would be labels. I had been asking myself what labels I might have regarding Singaporean lesbians. Not having attended this event before and only knowing a few lesbians that are friends of my Singaporean girlfriend, I wondered if the ladies who would come to the event that night would really dive into the topic at hand and share their points of view with potential strangers.
Well, I didn't have to worry about that at all. The 25 or so youngish lesbians were funny, quiet, shy, newly out, extroverted, pragmatic and seemed to come from a variety of backgrounds and walks of life. Some were coupled, others were single, but most were very candid about their views on the topic.
At times it seemed hard for individuals to share but everyone present was genuine, present and honestly participating as best as they could at this point in their life. Mutual respect and listening was a constant undercurrent throughout the night. It was a shame when one of the moderators announced that the night was over.
This could have been scene of any lesbian gathering found in San Francisco. I travelled halfway round the world and confirmed that women who love women are truly a blessing to the world. Thank you my Singaporean sisters. Until we meet again.