by A. L.
Last week's topic was on lesbians in the workplace and it was very interesting for me on many levels. It was the first time I have attended Women's Nite with my 'spouse' and out of the seven participants present, one's my colleague, another works in the same industry.
Which suggests an answer to one of the discussion topics that night - whether lesbians tend to gravitate towards certain professions. I believe many of us work in the creative industries, though we wondered if it was also because we were more visible cos such industries are generally less restrictive and tolerant of difference.
One participant in sales for instance related how her boss advised her to 'fem' up. Most of us recounted experiences where we felt we had to dress according to what we felt was expected of us. Although that might be just profession specific - eg how teachers/lecturers should be dressed etc.
One discussion thread which was very interesting for me was about coming out to colleagues. Me and my 'spouse' are both pretty closeted, compared to the other participants, who are admirably out and proud. I guess it may be fear, I'm not sure, but part of it is also about being more introverted.
There are some close colleagues I have come out to, but others whom I prefer not to tell. The session has certainly set me thinking about whether I should just come out.
Then there was the question of what one would do if one spotted a colleague at a gay event - would you go over, wave excitedly and hug them, or would you run away? One participant verbalised my thoughts when she said one's response really depended on whether you liked that particular colleague...(!)
Overall, it was a meaningful night. Kudos to the Women's Nite team for providing a space for gay women to talk about issues close to their heart.
I found Women's Nite while visiting from the United States. Women's Nite was a wonderful way for me to meet and talk to Singaporean queer women as my visits to the National Museum, the Night Safari and even Butch Hunt didn't really give me a picture of what life was like in Singapore for gay people.
I was a little nervous to go by myself, especially since I had never cooked American food halal before. It was a welcoming environment. I really enjoyed the discussion - it was open and honest. It is nice to know that, even if it was not at first apparent, Singaporean gay women are active and living full lives. Many of the trials facing queers in the States are essentially similar to those in Singapore. Actually even some of the fashion is strikingly similar! I am grateful to have stumbled upon Women's Nite and would encourage others to attend.