Is it a date or is it just coffee? This is a question that has bugged many.
There was a good mix of locals and expatriates at the discussion so it was refreshing to hear what dating was like in other cultures. Personally, I found the discussions a little too serious - on our expectations of the date, the values we are looking for in our date, among other things. If I was going on a first date, I would be worrying about my clothes, my breath, and, most importantly, making sure I'm not wearing a holey pair of granny undies, just in case I had to stay for extra-curricular activities...
Here are some dating tips from that night:
1) Bring her to a gay flick (no, do not attempt to make out with her) and have a discussion about it after.
2) Find out if you have a mutual interest - trekking or gay activism for example - and work from there.
3) Find out if she has a Fridae account (applicable only when you are unsure about her sexual orientation)
I never knew how much work went into organising Women's Nite. At the end of the discussion, chairs and tables had to be returned to their original positions and things had to be stacked and kept properly. Kudos to the organisers and volunteers.
When I left for the night, I still didn't know how to differentiate between a coffee and a date, but I do really care? NOPE. Life is what we make of it, we are only restricted by our fears and inhibitions. So grrlz, first date today, U-Haul truck tomorrow!
What is a date? How important is dating in relationships? Is dating among gay people different from dating among straight people?
Over 20 of us gathered in a cosy shophouse space to share our views on dating. We got to meet women from all age groups and walks of life, with various professions and family backgrounds. We learnt from experiences in countries as far as Canada and the USA, and shared good food over some laughter.
What do you look for in a date? When do you think sex should come into the picture?
The participants were randomly grouped to discuss each set of questions. I thought the absence of alcohol created a great setting to interact with and meet new people, a welcome addition to clubs with blasting music, dim lights and cigarette-choked air. I also found it really amusing was how many of us had different standards and were all eager to share it, which resulted in animated - and sometimes comical - exchanges.
Overall, a weekend evening well spent!
It was light-hearted and casual affair, exploring the different facets of dating and relationships, from the whimsical topic of dating tips to other more serious issues related to the semantics and the relevance of dating. I found it a comfortable space for us to share our views.
The fact that we were broken up into different groups at different points during the evening certainly worked well, and gave us a chance to socialise as well as to share our personal anecdotes and ideas, which were often funny, going by the hearty laughter in the room. For instance, a commonly-discussed question in queer circles - How do you tell if she's gay? - evoked many responses which many women were more than eager to share - bring her to a queer movie, ask if she has heard of fridae.com - among others. Perhaps these were some of the tried and tested tactics by several of us in the room!